Podcast Blog – Season 2, Episode 6
Just as all genuine relationship with God is experiential, so is your relationship with yourself. Every aspect of it – your self-awareness, your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions, and so much else – go to make up your experience of yourself. Just as your experience of God is something that takes place within you, so is your experience of yourself.
Until you enter into relationship with God, the only person you experience inwardly is yourself. But once you invite Him into your life, you begin to experience Him also.
God also makes His presence felt to people who have not yet given Him that place in their lives – stirring their hearts and even convicting them of sin – because He is constantly seeking to draw each one to Himself. Looking back over my early life, I can recall such times and situations – even though it was not always so obvious to me. Then came that life-changing night when God’s Spirit was finally able to touch my heart and draw me to Himself, so that I consciously experienced Him for the first time.
A few years ago, I came across the term ‘self-unconscious’ in a book by the 19th Century writer George MacDonald. Though it sounds very similar, self-unconscious is not the same as unselfconscious. It describes the experience of being so aware of God that you have no room or desire to be aware of yourself. Does that strike you as beyond your natural ability? Do you wonder if it is even possible?
Let’s go back to the creation of Adam and Eve, where we read these words: “The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame”. That first couple, perfect in themselves and their relationship with God and each other, were literally self-unconscious. Shame, which is all about how we see ourselves, and our anxieties about how others see us – was unknown to them. They were aware only of the God who created them. They were the work of His hands, He had breathed His life into them, and they were living in the most wonderful and fulfilling relationship with Him.
In tempting Eve to eat the forbidden fruit, the devil set out to sow seeds of doubt in her mind – not only about what God had said, but also about why He had said it. Insidiously, he questioned God's motive: “…God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”
The moment Eve paused to consider the devil’s lie, her inner self began to look at God in another light. What if it was true? The longer she gazed at that fruit, the more desirable it looked, and the more inclined she was to believe that God was keeping something wonderful from her. That all-loving, all-caring God who had given her life and was the centre of her very existence, was no longer to be trusted. In forbidding her and Adam from eating the fruit, He was not loving them ... He was depriving them!
You likely know the word ‘FOMO’ which stands for ‘fear of missing out’ – but do you realise that FOMO was what Satan successfully used to tempt Adam and Eve? We often use that word lightly, but the feelings it describes are no laughing matter. We might call them FOMO, but they are often nothing more than lust.
The apostle James wrote: “…each one is tempted, when they are drawn away by their own lust and enticed”. Lust motivates you to go after something for your own gratification. It is your inner self saying, “I want that … I’ve got to have it!” Often accompanied by the added imperative: “I’ve got to have it now!”
The objects of your lust can take many forms. The obvious ones are sexual, but in reality they can be anything that arouses your desire for self-gratification. The one constant is that lust will always be about you … about your self. And because self was at the root of what theologians refer to as ‘original sin’ it is no coincidence that the New Testament has a lot to say about it.
“If anyone would come after me,” declared Jesus, “he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.”
Those words were not solely addressed to Jesus’ disciples, but apply to anyone … anywhere … anytime … who wants to follow Him. You cannot say yes to Jesus without also saying no to yourself.
You might think it was not very smart of Jesus to put it like that when He was seeking followers. But He was not so much seeking followers, as seeking to bring people back to God. That was His mission, and He accomplished it by doing everything in His power to make it possible … culminating in His crucifixion and resurrection. But there was one thing even Jesus could not do, because each person must choose of their own accord to freely and willingly give up their right to themselves and abandon their life to God, on His terms.
You were created to know God, personally and intimately, here and now, and then go on into Eternity where you will experience the fullness of His love and goodness forever. You were not created for an existence that places yourself at the centre of your life.
If you and I were together right now, and I said, “It's not about you,” would your response be something like: “But isn’t the Gospel about me … about me being saved … about my sins being forgiven … about me receiving God’s gift of eternal life?” If that were your response, you would be right … in one sense, because God has made it about you. But, for your part, you should not be focused on His benefits for your gratification – rather, it is to face the truth about yourself and your sin, and to experience the ‘godly sorrow that leads to repentance’. It is about surrendering your life to God and committing to live on His terms with Him at the centre of your life.
Your life was never, ever intended to be about you. It is enough for you to know that God is for you, and that you have the privilege of making your life about Him.
That’s how it was with Adam and Eve at the beginning. God was their everything. He had created them, and He was the centre of their very existence … until they stopped believing Him and instead believed the devil’s lie.
Jesus said you cannot serve two masters. It is utterly impossible for you to live for God and at the same time be self-centred. Sadly, that’s not an issue for many Christians who are encouraged to believe that God is here just for them – to give them a great life. They see God portrayed as some sort of benevolent ‘Big Daddy’ in the sky who just wants them to be happy, and who loves to shower them with lots of good things. The benefits start with Him forgiving their past, so they don’t feel bad anymore, and they keep on flowing from there … right up to the day they leave this life and go to Heaven, where they will really have it all forever!
But what about that uninviting invitation from Jesus to deny yourself, take up your cross and follow Him? When Jesus spoke those words, their impact would have been chilling. Those people knew only too well what it meant for someone to take up their cross. Whenever they saw anyone staggering under the weight of a large wooden cross, they knew that person was headed for just one destination: the place of execution … their own execution. In those days there was nothing remotely religious about crosses. Their sole purpose was to enable excruciatingly long and agonising executions. The Romans adopted crucifixion because it inflicted even more suffering than their previous method – skinning people alive.
When the apostle Paul wrote about glorying in the cross of Jesus and being crucified with Him, he was presenting a picture that would have been repulsive to many. Yet, to him, it was all about that ‘death to self’ which he had chosen, so that his life could be a true expression of Jesus … not himself.
Neither should that be heavy or morbid for us, because it also points to the risen life of Jesus which is ours to experience and live in now. Had He not suffered death on the cross for our sins, He would not have also risen to give us life. And when He said that to follow Him means denying yourself and taking up your cross, He also said, “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it”!
If you foolishly try to hold onto your life for your own sake, you will lose it. But willingly relinquish your claim on it for His sake … and you will find it. Not as the life you once knew, but as the life that is His gift to you. You certainly cannot have both – because God will not share you with anything or anyone else … and He certainly will not share you with yourself!
In Old Testament times when the Israelites began to turn away from God, they were often drawn to set up idols – false gods that they attempted to worship in tandem with God. They still wanted Him … but they also wanted them. And God was not pleased.
In the first of the Ten Commandments, God said to His people: “You shall have no other gods before me.” When your life is focused on yourself instead of God, you soon become your own idol … your own god. By contrast, if you choose to make your life about God instead of yourself, dying to self and living for Him becomes a liberating reality!
Do you truly believe that Jesus is who He says He is? That He came into this world to bring you back to God? That the Father of Jesus is also your Father – the King of the Universe and Creator of all things? And do you believe that He longs to be glorified in you, so that you in turn will find your total fulfillment in Him forever?
If you claim to believe these wonderful truths, how can you walk two paths, like someone with one foot in the gutter and the other on the sidewalk? It is imperative that each of us decides which path we walk - whether our lives are to be centred on God or on ourselves. We cannot have both, because one will exclude the other. It is the height of foolishness and futility to even contemplate some sort of flip-flop double-existence in which you sometimes live for God and at other times for yourself.
When Jesus said, “Seek God's Kingdom first, and everything else will be added to you,” He meant it.
Carrying the burden of your own life (which is far more than you were ever meant to carry) while also affirming your belief and reliance on God, will result in you relegating yourself to life on your terms, relying on your own resources.
You can’t just pick God up and put Him down again whenever it suits you. Many think they can, but it has to be one or the other. Nevertheless, the choice will always be yours whether your life is about God or about yourself. Even now you may still be tempted to ask: “But isn't there a third choice? Can't it be about me as well as about God?” I thank God that there is no such choice! Jesus made that very clear, first to those who wanted to follow Him, and then even clearer still when He personally went all the way in laying down His own life for us.
The apostle Paul – who was dramatically changed by His encounter with Jesus when he was the arch-enemy of the early Church – later wrote: “I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I might gain Christ… I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings”.
This is not idealism, nor is it religion. It is simply the truth about each one of us and our essential being. It is entirely in your hands whether or not you approach Jesus in that simple, uncomplicated way, saying to Him from your heart: “I want to follow you on your terms. I trust you with my life. I no longer want to live for myself. I believe who you are and what you say. I know you love me and want me … and I place my life in your hands.”